Temptation in the Wilderness: Part 2

Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit unto the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. He fasted forty days and forty nights, and afterwards he was famished. The tempter came and said to him, If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread.

Matthew 4:1-3

There are three primary forms of attack that the ego uses to draw us out of the belief that we are perfect, sinless, spiritual beings. We should not be deceived by the manner of illusion that the ego throws at us; they all are rooted in fear. And that is really all temptation is: the ego trying to convince us that we are something that we are not. Many religions, much to their own detriment, have labeled certain acts as the source of "temptations"; they're preoccupation seems to be not with cause, but with effect. The sin (or mistake) is never in the action; the mistake is in the cause, which is the belief that you are CAPABLE of sin, that you can somehow escape being the perfect Child of Light that you are.

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The man from Nazareth suddenly regained consciousness. He was not sure how long he had been unconscious; it could have been minutes. It could have been hours. Time had lost all meaning for him out in the desert. He had come there because the Call had been pounding in the back of his head for far too long, and he was determined to have it out. No longer could he stay at home, busying himself with unbuilt tables, and shelves, support beams and crosses (yes, he made crosses too, if you can believe it). Despite his resistance, the Spirit stayed with him, pulling at him, tugging at him, pushing him out into the open. Finally, he'd had enough. He would make war with this Spirit, whatever it was, and the desert would be his battleground.

The first week was the most difficult. The hunger gnawed at his stomach like a rabid dog, eating its way through his whole body. He wept for many nights, screaming at the heavens for an answer. But none would come, except the one Answer.

"You and I are One."

That was his mantra for the second week. You and I are One. He used it as a weapon against the hunger, to steel himself against it, but finally, one day, as he said, You and I are One, he heard another voice.

"Are you?'

He blinked. It was the voice within his own mind. The challenger, he called it. It challenged everything everyone said to him, yea, it challenged everything he said to himself. He'd grown use to its mutterings and scorn over time, and more often than not, he obeyed its commands without question.

"Yes," he said.
"Are we REALLY one?"
"Yes," said the man of Nazareth, more confidently. "We are."
If this is true, why are you so hungry?
The man blinked; he could think of no other response aside from the obvious: Because I have not eaten.
And you think God wills that you go hungry?
The man closed his eyes, squeezing them hard. Why was he questioning himself? His stomach, glad to finally have an ally, snarled viciously. The man began to feel weak and dizzy. The voice continued.
"And if you are to do the work of the Father and the Mother, do you honestly think they would have you do it on an empty stomach?" There was silence. Then the voice said, "You have not eaten for weeks. Aren't you in pain? Dont you think it was a little crazy of you to come all the way out here and not bring anything to eat? Wasnt that a bit foolish?"
Yes, the man whispered.
"The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak," said the voice. "You are nothing without your flesh; any wise man will tell you that. If you do not eat, you will die.
But I have nothing to eat! cried the man from Nazareth.
The stones, said the voice, mockingly. The stones about you. Ask God to turn them into bread for you, as he did for the children of Israel when they wandered in the wildness.
The man from Nazareth reached his hand out towards a stone and picked it up, holding it in his hand. God will turn this stone into bread for me. Surely he would not let me starve.
Gripping the stone firmly in his hand, he asked the Spirit for guidance. Heavenly Mother, he said, If you will it, turn this stone into bread, so that your servant might be filled. My hunger is more than I can bear.
He waited. Nothing happened. Once more, he prayed, Heavenly Mother, I beseech you, have pity on your servant. Turn these stones into bread.
Again nothing.
Mother . . . Father . . . Creator . . . Spirit . . . I came out here to find you, so that might you tell me what your will is. I cannot do your will without strength. Please, help me.
Again nothing.
The man stared silently at the stone, then flung it away from him in fury. He collapsed to the ground, while the challenging voice in his mind whispered, You see? Is this the God that you would serve? One that cannot grant the simple request for food? I suggest you give up this mad quest and go back home. Perhaps your mother will take you back in.
No, said the man to himself. I cannot go back. Not after all Ive said and done, and what Ive taught. I would like a fool.
Yes, the voice agreed. Better to lay here and die.
The man nodded and closed his eyes. Yes. Death was much more preferable to the shame he would feel upon returning back home with nothing to show for his efforts. He was tired of struggling. He wanted peace. Mother, he prayed, if you are out there, I commend my spirit into your hands. I have failed you in some way. Was it that I lacked faith, or did you wish not to give me what I asked for? Either way, I am yours . . .
I am yours.
I am yours.
The words repeated themselves over and over in his mind.
I am yours.
I am yours.
Then . . .
I belong to the Mother and the Father.
Then . . .
I have always belonged to Them, because are were IN me
Then . . .
My very existence is sustained by Them.
Then . . .
Theirs is the power that holds the very Universe together.
They are in EVERYTHING.
Then . . .
They are in Me. They and I were One.
I am the Father and the Mother.
I am the Alpha and the Omega. The Beginning and the End.
I am Eternal Life.
Then . . .
So why would I think for a second that I could ever truly die?
He looked about himself in a daze, his eyes resting on the stone he had cast from himself not minutes ago. With deliberate calmness, he said to himself, Man is not sustained by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God.
And it came to pass that he stayed in the wilderness.