My days now hang in a period silent uncertainty. I wake up, overwhelmed by egoic forces. It usually takes a couple of deep breaths and a half-hour of meditation before I am my Self again. From there, it's all good.
But as I try to live in each moment as if it were the only one in eternity, I find myself constantly faced with the question, "What is it that I'm supposed to be doing."
"BE," is the response I hear in my heart.
It sounds deceptively easy, but in a world where sights and sounds and sensations fly every which way around us, and egoic desires tempting me to "do this" and "accomplish that," to simply BE feels like a Herculean task. But I never feel as complete as when I relax into total "I AM-NESS," so there must be truth to it.
Then I start to wonder...is this all just a playground for the Divine? Does God not really know what It is? Is the Universe incomplete without me? Is the whole purpose of my existence to (A). Remember that I am a part of God and (B). Allow God to experience what It is through the lens of my own indiduial consciousness?
It puts a new meaning on the phrase "messenger of God. " It's not about God giving messages to humankind, but humankind sending messages BACK to God, allowing God to learn what IT is, to see other parts of Itself. Perhaps the history of life on our planet is about the Universe itself trying to figure out just what the hell it is, trying to reach conscious awareness...but then again, the Universe would already have to be conscious in order to have that kind of agenda, right? I mean, if the Universe lacked self-awareness to begin with, how could it be aware enough to try to DEVELOP awareness through life?
You know what? I have no idea. I seriously I have no idea. But I guess we'll all find out soon enough.
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