Rise, Prophets--Aftermath

When I got the Nuyorican to perform "Rise, Prophets" at the open mike, I was really nervous. I wasn't sure how people would take my words, if they would think I was a lunatic or something.

But inwardly, I felt my soul bustling with excitement, as if it had been waiting for this opportunity to speak out. It didn't really care what others said about it. It only wanted to express itself.

So I did the poem, and the overall reaction was good. The host of the open mike came up to me and said, "Yeah, I used to be a religion major. But you're right. There was a time that these guys--who were essentially poets--sat next to kings and gave them spiritual guidance. At the time, they were called "prophets."

That's when it hit me: my name, or the name of my alter-ego as it were: Raja. A few months ago, I was in prayer/meditation and I directed a question towards my Inner Self: "What is my name? My true name?" And immediately, the answer that came from somewhere out of my unconscious self was "Raja." So I adopted it as a second name.

"Raja" is Sanskrit for "king." And when the open mike host talked about that relationship between "king and poet", it dawned on me that "Raja" was the not so much my name, but the name of my soul. And that, in this world, I am an ambassador, a represenative of the royal being which is my divine inner Self. Through me, my soul is able to find expression, to experience the truth about itself.

Since then, my relationship with my soul has changed dramatically. For one thing, I'm trying to listen to it more. And I have a strong sense that it is female, the yin, the passive aspect of my divine Identity. The yang or active aspect, I suppose that would be me...or at least, my ego is one of the many manifestations of the yang.

As I try to describe this, I realize more and more how limited words are. There's no way to really describe this, except to say that I am both yin and yang. I am soul and spirit. I am all of these things, and yet I'm none of them.

And it is good. It is very good.